Now, This is Weird
Another snow day. Deadlines. Online teaching. Smurfs. Chili. My new favorite Rooibus cinnamon tea. Tennis cancelled.
And the weird part is….?
I confess, there’s not much to report.
I have been working on a piece about my relationship with Daido, which should be published soon. I’ve been up at 4 am writing away, toiling, relaxing, letting in, letting go in my very favorite way: in the pre-dawn darkness, alone. Not unlike zazen. And then, again, like with zazen, when I enter the rest of the world and try to relate to it, my feeling of completeness so easily fades, is rubbed the wrong way, you could say, rubbed off. A pretty cheap coating of bliss, I’d say.
So maybe that’s the trouble, that I am so vulnerable to being affected?
Maybe it’s the numbness of March, this begging: oh my god please stop to the snow and the cold and the uncooperative wind. But I wouldn’t say, not for a minute, that I am feeling nothing. I just feel…ok. Good? Kind of great!
And my creative energy has been going full on into this Daido piece, and so I haven’t written here but I know the drive to do so will return, so please, please, don’t go away!